Have you ever constantly tried to squash your emotions down for them just to bubble up again at a later stage? You may have had a hard week and wonder why you can’t sleep or relax at the weekends?

Carl Jung (psychologist) explains that everything we don’t accept into the psyche (our personality) we push in the unconscious. He also explains that it is not our job to banish what we don’t want to feel. It is instead our job to integrate those feelings into consciousness. 

I found out the hard way. I found myself becoming less and less tolerant to stressors and I found it easier and easier to stoop into depression as my unconscious feelings started to emerge. One amazingly helpful tip I found was shadow work. 

This started when my therapist taught me that these feelings are useful. And that I don’t have to use them but they should be recognised by me. Once I recognise them, I can decide whether or not to put them to good use. 

To do this I first recognise when I feel inner conflict or irritability. I close my eyes and breathe 5 deep breaths with long exhales and sink into myself. I then ask two questions, wait for a reply and it then results in a bit of a conversation. It might go something like this

  1. Who are you?… “I am anger”
  2. What has bothered you… “my accountant has messed up again! It feels like mistakes are constantly being made at my expense”
  3. Yes I can feel your pain. I know what you mean… “I just want to hurt them”
  4. I understand that, but that might not reach the end we require… “what do you mean”
  5. I am sure if we speak to them, you can let your anger be heard but I can guide the conversation to a logical and beneficial end… “ok, you call them, I’ll express myself through you and we’ll see how that goes”

This is based on an actual conversation I had to have with myself after realising my accountants hadn’t done what I asked them to do which would have saved me a lot of money and time. Notice how I do not judge that emotion, I never doubt it, I only negotiate with it. I also let that emotion tell me in its complete darkness what it wants. This helps me to find resolve and peace. But it also helps me plan how I’m going to put that emotion to good use. Check it out and let me know how you get on

And if you need any help with your productivity or mental health, you know what to do. Contact us for a free consultation 

It’s time to talk. You’re going through potentially, one of the most challenging experiences that you have ever encountered. And it makes it worse that no-one can tell, or even begin to understand.

When experiencing bouts of depression, anxiety, bereavement; or maybe your personality disorder or bipolar has taken a turn for the worse; it can seem that there is no way out. You’ve tried everything, right?

Well, sometimes you need a hand to guide you out of the darkness. Our gravesend based counsellors and psychologists would love to hear about your struggles. It will at least give you a chance to express how you feel to open ears, with no judgement

Message us or give us a call and we’ll book you in for a free over the phone consultation to begin with. It will help us to get to know each other before you embark on your journey to recovery

2 Comments. Leave new

  • Really helpful, thanks Elliott – I have 3 people very close to me struggling at the moment and I can use this info to try to help them. They are each in denial about their situation so I’m struggling to get them to understand they need help but if they can help themselves a little with this method then that’s a positive step forward.

    I can us it myself too!

    Reply
    • Revitalize Clinic
      22nd September 2020 2:22 pm

      Hey Julie. So happy to have been able to help. Yes, absolutely. When you’re in the fight it is very hard to realise that taking a step back and gaining perspective is an option. Yes! let me know how you get on

      Reply

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